The Bet
by Zilcho
Summary: Naruto makes a bet that he can write a better book than Jiraya. Will he write an orginal story that turns out to be a best seller or has Jiraya's way of life rubbed of and the book turn out to be just another perverted novel?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"Gaki I've told you, I don't have time to train you!"

The blond boy crossed his arms; he was wearing bland and orange clothing and had a look that was a combination of anger and disgusting across his face.

"You are just going to do your perverted "research" ero-sennin!" He said.

"It's important research! I depend on my books to support myself."

"Why do you need money? You are just stealing mine anyway." The boy said.

"It's to help you avoid the ninja vices and is for your own good."

"So then why do you steal my money to go and spend it on women, sake and gambling? Shouldn't you set a good example?"

"You already know what's right and wrong, I'm just helping you by removing the means to bad conduct and thus I shoulder these sins for you."

"Whatever you lousy old pervert." He grumbled.

"What was that Gaki? I didn't hear you!"

"I said, WHATEVER YOU LOUSY OLD PERVERT!" The boy now screamed in the old man's face. Quite a few people turned their heads to look at the scene.

"I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY BOOKS ARE WELL RESPECTED BEST SELLERS AND THEY REQUIRE A LOT OF WORK!" The white haired oldie retorted.

"Yea!? I Bet I can write a much better book than you can!" The boy said in a little lower voice.

"Really? Then how about a bet gaki?"

"Bring it you old toad's butt!"

"**Don't call me that!" **The man yelled.

"Whatever. If I win you will have to train me, and I don't mean you sending me to the hotel room doing pushups while you peep on women, you will have to act like a real sensei."

"And if I win you, gaki, will have to address me with the respect I deserve. That is, Jiraya-sensei or sensei. No more ero-sennin!"

"Deal!" The boy said reaching out his hand.

"Deal!" The man said.

"So… when should the bet over?"

"In one year, I already have a publisher we can go through and if your book sells more than mine you win." The man said.


	2. First Month

**The First Month**

Naruto was speeding towards the Hokage's office. He had just finished sending out the books to all his friends and their families, some would get the books tomorrow and some would get them in a few days depending on how far they lived.

The bet was almost over, the books were printed and published and would go up for sale tomorrow and in just another few weeks they would know who was the better writer.

In his hand he held proudly one copy, The book had a dark green color and on the front was his picture where he stood casually while twirling a kunai on one finger. Behind him was a flame that looked almost like it was his tail. The title read, Tales of friendship.

He burst through the office doors and slammed the book on to the large table, waking up the sleeping Hokage.

"I'm wide awake! I promise Shizune I wasn't sleeping!" She said.

"It's just me Baa-chan." Naruto said.

"Well don't scare me like that brat! Being Hokage is straining on the nerves!" Tsunade was angry that she had been disturbed in the middle of her nap, it wasn't often she could sneak one in, it was like Shizune had a sixth sense.

"Look at this! Isn't it great!?" Naruto said with pride in his voice.

"Tales of friendship? Aaah this is your book! It's finally done?"

"Yep, it took a lot of hard work but you know me I never give up, believe it!" Naruto pumped his fist in the air.

"So why don't you tell me how it went with the writing? I don't have anything better to do anyway." Tsunade sat back and started fiddling with the book.

"You see after me and Jiraya had decided on the bet we went separate ways, I was walking around the streets and realized that I didn't really have a clue on what to write."

"I went home and grabbed my writing stuff and went outside to the Hokage's monument but even thou I sat on the fourth head I didn't get any ideas."

"So I went to Ichiraku's!" He looked really happy at that memory.

"Wait, this book isn't about ramen is it!?" Tsunade said a bit panicked.

"No of course not. I think I only mentioned ramen about three or four times in every chapter."

At that a large sweat drop started to form on Tsunade's head and she was pitying the boy, no way he would win this bet.

"So after I had four or five bowls of ramen the ideas started coming and I started writing. I sat there until they closed. The problem was that the next morning when I was going to read what I had written I couldn't."

"What do you mean couldn't, had someone stolen it? Jiraya!?" Tsunade said, her anger once again rising.

"No I mean that my handwriting was really lousy and I couldn't make out what it said." Tsunade sweat dropped.

"Since my handwriting was so bad I would have to train so I bought some new supplies and went to a training field so I could use my shadow clones, I think I only had 50 of them because I didn't want to spend all my money on writing supplies. But after the day was over my writing had gotten even worse!" Naruto said.

'Poor Naruto, not even able to write. I wonder how he could ever finish this book.'

While Naruto was speaking Tsunade opened the book and started reading.

_It was a nice warm spring morning in the village of Kohano._

'I wonder where he got the inspiration from.' Tsunade joked to herself.

She read the first page as he continued.

"So then I figured I was going to need someone to teach me how to write but Shikamaru was too lazy and Kiba writes almost as bad as me. Sakura-chan just hit me in the head calling me a baka. I was running towards the academy to ask Iruka for help but I ran in to Hinata-chan."

'So it's Hinata-chan now, perhaps this egg head is finally starting to notice that girl.' Tsunade smiled.

"I asked her for help and she went red as a tomato, but she said yes. Apparently she has super good handwriting as the Hyuugas drill that in to their children. She guided me how to do it and with my clones it went really fast. We brought a paint stand to the training field so she could show my clones how to do it, It was like a giant class with only me!" He grinned.

'The horror! Iruka told me how he used to pull all those pranks and an entire class with only Narutos would probably have given him a heart attack.'

Tsunade read a few pages.

_Naruko-kun? Yes Hitana-chan? Do.. ..you like me? The shy beauty asked the handsome hero. He reached up with his hand and placed it upon her cheek. You are the kindest person I know and also the most beautiful I've eve… NARUKO! The boy cursed his luck. Of course he had to be interrupted now. Get your ass over here now we got an emergency! Damn that angry old lady, the boy thought._

_I'm sorry Hitana but the village needs its hero, I'll come to you when I'm done._

'Damn, he started off so good. I hope for his sake that the angry old lady isn't me.'

_So Tsudena baa-chan what's the emergency now? Is there a princess in need of rescue? Don't call me that you ungrateful gaki! The hag yelled, her huge bosom heaving causing Naruko to be distracted. Her huge mounds reminding him of Hitana-chan's._

Tsunade was getting royally pissed here she though he had finally matured and gotten his act together when writing but no. She got interrupted from her thoughts when Naruto just kept talking.

"It took me just two days until I got the writing down, speed and readability was more important than perfect penmanship. But Hinata-chan got sad that she wouldn't continue to teach me so she kept hanging around the first two weeks, we had a lot of fun and she helped me in deciding in what direction to go with in the book."

"Wait!? Are you saying that Hinata came up with this?" Tsunade asked sounding shocked.

"No no, not at all. This is all me. (smile) She just helped giving me inspiration."

_The hero was awed by the beauty he saw, the girl had taken of her jacket and her clothes hugged her features, showing of her massive assets. She spun around with her fist and stopped millimeters in front of his face. You have me at a disadvantage Hitana-chan. Why is that? She asked as she pressed her tits together with her arms and looked at him with her puppy dog eyes._

_Because of the view in front of me, I cannot fight when faced with such beauty. His arms reached around her waist and he pulled her in for a kiss, her lips yielding to him. He raveled at the sensation of her body against his._

'I bet that was some good inspiration.' Tsunade mussed. 'I just hope Hiashi never reads this or Naruto will be as good as dead.'

"I stayed and did my training and occasional c-ranks for the next six weeks up until the vacation I requested. During this time when I didn't train or do missions I kept writing and doing research."

_Our hero ran through the forest, he had heard a scream that sounded like it belonged to one of his friends. As he ran the scream came once again and he heard it wasn't that of only pain but also pleasure. His fear was replaced with curiosity. He reached a small cottage that looked abandoned._

_He snuck up to a window and looked inside, he was shocked first as he saw one of his companions Neady tied up naked against the wall with red streaks on his back. He was seconds from bursting inside to rescue him when a door opened. Clad in what almost looked like leather armor, only much more revealing was another of his friends TinTin, and in her hand was a studded whip. He wanted to go but the scene that was playing in front of him was too interesting. He just kept watching."_

'Wow I would have never suspected Neji to be a sub that was a shocker. Tenten isn't such a big surprise considering that she almost got a fetish for weapons.'

"And that concludes the first month, I even forgot to go to Ichiraku's once." Naruto finished with a smile.


	3. Second Month

**The Second Month**

"Shizune!" Tsunade yelled.

"Baa-chan. You know that mission you sent us on that lasted almost three weeks instead of just one? At first I got really pissed because I had really gotten in to the writing thing and had found a good rhythm mixing training, missions and research but then I figured it would be great inspiration for the book. I was wrong." He crossed his arms and tried to add a dramatic effect to his speech. It failed. Horribly. He just looked like a suborn child.

Shizune popped her head inside the room. "You called Tsunade-sama."

"Hai, bring me some tea please."

"Certainly, and you Naruto-kun.?"

"No thanks, I'm all fine I had a healthy serving of milk and ramen before I got here." Naruto said while patting his stomach.

'And by healthy I think he means that he ate enough to feed a family for a week.' Tsunade thought.

"So at first I was really down about that mission but I cheered up when Sai said something stupid and Sakura knocked him in to a puddle. I think I actually put that in the book. … Yes I'm certain that I did! … I think…" He blabbered on.

_.. and from the force of the punch Rai sailed through the air and landed in a puddle._

'Yep, he did put it in. I wonder if the entire book is just an account of his year?'

Shizune came inside and put the tea down next to Tsunade. She had just gotten her copy of the book but stayed and read over Tsunade's shoulder and to listen to Naruto's account.

_He was still mad at the old hag for sending him out on this mission, always when there was a mission of some importance they always sent him, the village hero. Even when it was well within the skill range of some the more average teams. Not even watching Rai and him French kissing a puddle cheered him up. _

"The traveling was the worst, except for that incident nothing happened. I was so bored I thought I was going to die and I swear to you it felt like my soul was melting." Naruto complained.

_They came up over a hill and in front of them a small town spread out. They continued down the road and as they neared the town neatly cut bushes dotted the side of the road. Everything was so well kept as if the entire town was made of gardeners. Oh wait, the town was full of gardeners. Their mission was to guard a freaking plant for the upcoming flower festival. _

"Wasn't that the mission that caused Ino to cry for a week after you denied her request to go on it?" Shizune whispered to Tsunade.

"Schh, If he finds out that someone volunteered for it I'll be lucky if he just pulls a few pranks for revenge." Tsunade chastised her.

"Did I tell you about the smell!? It wasn't that of pretty flowers, nooo. All those flowers came from kami knows where and they smelled worse than when I forgot milk in the refrigerator for a month."

_They had checked in to a hotel for their stay in the town and had started to discuss how they would go about the intelligence gathering. Their choice of quarters was quite limited because of the large amount of visitors but they were lucky enough to have found a hotel that didn't stink too much._

_After what had seemed like an eternity. Captain plant-man, Kashika's replacement, had finally decided that they would first catalogue all the exotic flowers brought here to see if they could find some sort of pattern in the thefts. Naruko had been quite vocal about it being a waste of his skills but captain plant-man seemed to have some sort of fetish when it came to flowers and it was no use arguing._

_So he had to walk around and speak to all the plant nerds, the problem was that he asked them about their favorite subject, plants, which got them talking. And talking. Then talking some more. He suspected it came from the saying that you should speak with your plants every day._

"Did I mention that all they talked about was plants? And why did you have to stick us with Yamato? He was going nuts around all those plants."

"Well, you did do a great you in apprehending the thief in the end and Kakashi had his own mission." Tsunade said.

"I think you've done a great job as a writer so far Naruto. I can't wait to go home and read my copy." Shizune said with a warm smile directed at the boy.

"Just you wait Shizune, this was probably the mildest part of his book, the most of it seems to be quite graphic."

"Oi what's that supposed to mean Baa-chan? It's not graphic, I didn't paint a picture book, it's all text." An affronted Naruto said.

Ignoring the boy Tsunade just shrugged.

"I've got work to go back too, Tsunade-sama. Naruto-kun." Shizune said as she politely bowed and exited the office.

Not one to take to being ignored Naruto spoke up again.

"Did I mention the insects? Not only did they like to talk about all those flowers that they had with them but it seemed that wasn't the only thing that they had up their sleeves. There were so many different insects everywhere that you probably should have sent Shino. Yes that would have been great, you should have sent Ino and Shino and they would have been so happy you wouldn't need to give them a vacation for a year."

_He noticed that there were a lot of different insects around the town, probably passengers with that came along with the flowers. He had noticed as his teammate Rose-Blossom had run past him screaming about a bug in her hair. He had run after her and after heroically calming the angry girl down he had pointed out that it wasn't a bug but closer to a small colony._

"It was so funny to watch her, she kept running around screaming. I asked if she wanted me to use the Rassengan to shake away all the bugs and she just kept running. I couldn't stop laughing and lost my breath." He started to laugh at the memory and started chipping for his breath and didn't snap out of it until Tsunade slammed her fist at her desk. He had to wipe tears away from his eyes as he came back to his senses.

"Sorry Baa-chan but you should have seen her. I laughed until I blacked out because of lack of oxygen. Or at least I think that was why because when I woke up I had a headache and Sakura was gone."

'I'm sure it was just lack of oxygen and not because of a sudden case of fist to his head.'

"I can' believe how it took us three weeks to get back. That entire mission was the worst time waster ever. We should just have called it a failure as soon as we could smell the town."

"Naruto we can't just abort missions because they are boring, if you ever want to become hokage you must realize that. If we did we would be labeled as unreliable and take their business elsewhere and I'm disappointed in the fact that you didn't came to the understanding that your team was sent on this mission so you could in more experience in surveillance and investigation." Tsunade lectured Naruto.

"Whatever baa-chan."

Tsunade grabbed hold of an ink well and threw it at Naruto, he dodged to the side with his head and it hit the wall instead. Unfortunately for him ink managed to splash him in the back of his neck.

"Ey that was uncalled for."

"That was very called for. If you can't learn to show simple respect even for me or learn basic skills you will never amount to anything!" She yelled at him.

"You know full well that I can do plenty. Look at my track record when it comes to missions. And don't deny the fact that I'll soon be one of the strongest ninjas in this village. I can control five tails of Kyubi's power. I can enter sage mode much quicker than Jiraya can. I've added elemental manipulation to the rasengan and .."

"..yet you are still a genin." Tsuande finished for him.

He crossed his arms and sat down looking angry. Not noticing that there was a nice puddle of ink for him to sit in. "You know damn well it's not my fault that I was away training and been sent away on long term missions all the time."

"Whatever you say. Gaaa-ki." Tsunade said looking down at the book and continued to read.

_Finally, we are home. The tired team looked up happily at the gates to the village. I can't wait to take a bath. Rose-Blossom exclaimed! Raaaamen! The heroe yelled. I'll just go home and continue with my childish finger paintings Rai said. Hold it! We have to go and report our success immediately to our big breasted leader._

_Come on captain flower-face do we have to? It's not like this was an Important mission. Naruko complained to their slave driver for temporary team leader._

_And I would hardly consider it a succsess, it took us three weeks to catch that damn thief. I'll smell like I took a bath in the sewer for a week before I can get this stench of me. Rose-blossom complained._

_Fiiiinger paaaintings! Rai whined._

_It wasn't a suggestion it was an order so move!_

"The worst part was that I got thrown out of Ichiraku's! Can you believe it!? He said I smelled so bad that I'd scare away all the other customers."

'I do believe, I had to do all my work outside because my office smelled so bad after that debriefing.'

_He was sad, even three days after his arrival in his hometown he still smelled. Granted he was allowed back to the ramen shop but if anyone came within touching distance of him they would quickly scurry away. Not even his Hitana wanted to be near him. He swore again, damn that old hag. Doesn't she realize that it's not only me that's suffering after this mission but what about my girl and all the other girls out there that misses out on my tender affection?_

'This book seems to get worse and worse, It's almost written like a diary and I really hope this isn't how he reasons for real. If it is I'm going to have to have a real serious talk with Jiraya. I warned him what would happen if he rubbed of too much on Naruto.'

Somewhere near a hot spring full of naked ladies there was a man who suddenly stopped in his note taking as a cold shiver went down his spine. 'I don't know what just happened but I got a bad feeling. I hope it's not Akatuski that's on the move.' It wasn't the Akatusiki, it was something much, much worse.

"Did you hear me Baa-chan!? I said. It wasn't till the last day of the month that Hinata wanted to go out on date with me again. It was horrible! Sakura still have flashbacks and have developed a phobia for flowers. She can't even visit Ino's parents shop anymore."


End file.
